random shtuffff

I'm supposed to be finishing packing, instead, I have alot of thoughts going through my mind.

For quite awhile, up until the past two weeks or so,I've just felt off. I decided that alot of that had to do with eating too many foods with carbs and sugars. Some of that had to do with some remnants of crap that I had been working through. During that time, I think I pushed alot of people away, or held them at an arms distance. I cant really say why, other than I guess I just needed to figure some things out by myself.
For the past two weeks or so, I've really made an effort to cut most carbs and sugars out of my diet and start taking my suppliments more regularly. I have noticed a tremndous difference in both my mood and energy. Now that I'm sort of back to myself, I'm starting to realize the people I care about most I pushed away the most. I feel kind of bad about that, but I know that I needed that time to work through some things and heal myself.

I'm bad about telling people how I feel about them. As someone who writes very personal songs and poems, I would think just telling someone how I feel wouldn't be difficult....but it is. I recently told a friend of mine that he was my best friend here, and he was surprised. Quite surprised. He told me that he wouldn't have thought that- he didn't know. I felt bad about that. Here's the person that I care about most in the state, and he doesn't even know.

I think sometimes I get very wrapped up in my own mind, and dont' realize how my actions, or inaction, effects those around me.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm feeling rather mopey at the moment. Maybe it's partially because I'm leaving tomorrow for florida, then Texas, and wont be back for two weeks- and partially because I wish I had more time with the people I care about. It seems like this week went by really fast and between working late and being tired, things just didn't work out like I had hoped.

I need to finish packing now. I'm 95% sure I've got everything, but I like to double check.


There should be new Notes From the Road blogs here in the next few weeks!

I'm rambling. I know that when I wake up I'll have to start the travelilng process. It's not that I'm nervous about it....I guess since I haven't been out in the field for a few months I got used to being at home. I like it here.