Burning Out

I haven't been home for more than two weeks since Memorial day. I think I have mentioned that before.
When I am home, I have been trying to do too much I think.
I have put off things I have NEEDED to do for things I have WANTED to do.
I was told today I may be going on 3 or 4 jobs in July. This is stellar for the compnay, things I really taking off, and I think I have had a lot to do with that.
However, is this sometihng that's good for me?
I normally rack up overtime hours on travel jobs, which is good
I don't have to pay for anything while I'm gone, which is good

I spend all my time with people that are very different from me, which is fine.
They tend to be kind of cynical, I think it damages my aura/psyche/whatever- not so good.

I come home feeling totally deprived of affection- not so good for me.

I worry about the ferrets while I'm gone. John (my landlord) takes great care of them, but I still worry.

The answer I' am coming up with is that going on jobs all the time, while advantageous monetarily, is not so good for ME.

I think part of it is me still adjusting to traveling every few weeks and trying to figure out where my limits are when I come back.

I think part of it is being tired all the time. We've been working mostly night jobs, and switching back to day time isn't always smooth.

I do not feel right today. I think that may have had to do with my 2nd Gaurdasil such. That shit F**king hurts. My arm is still sore today, and I"m wondering if my funk is somehow tied to the shot.

I want to believe it is, I don't want to feel funky of my own accord.

I'm not going in to detail of why, but I found out today I'm quite afraid of and facsinated by cancer. Afraid because it strikes regardless of pretty much anything, facsinated because it has to do with cell mutations in our own bodies and how cells decided to mutate.

That added to my funky-ness.

ALSO, then train came by about 6am this morning. I went back to sleep. I slept through the alarm and woke up at 8:20...10 minutes before I normally get to work. While I was oversleeping, I had a dream that I went down a little alley way in my car, and that the end had been blocked off by a couple of open gates or something. I started to close the gates so I could get past, and this women came out of a house and told me to come inside. I had to wait arounf for her husband to come out so he could yell at me for moving the gates. I think everytime the alarm went off, I tried to leave in the dream, but someone kept telling me I couldn't leave. It took me all day to figure out that's what actually happened. I was somewhat amused.

Anyway, that's it.

As usual, I didn't spell or grammar check.