Phase 1 to 2, week 2 of treatment: yeast overgrowth to SIBO treatment

I tried to split this post into three sections-background, insights from the last week, and a summary of each day. If you are a friend or family member, I’d recommend sticking with the background and insights. If you’re someone who is having digestive issues, or is wondering what treatment might be like, I’d recommend reading everything.

This post is for informational purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose anyone. Go see a doctor for diagnosis and treatment.

 Also, my brain fog is pretty intense at times. I try to make sure what I write is correct, but I may get things wrong from time to time.

Background:

This particular bout of health issues flared in 2015. My job had become extremely stressful and travel intensive, in conjunction with some major life changes: moving in with my boyfriend, becoming a Christian, getting married 2 weeks after being proposed to, becoming a step parent, then planning a wedding reception for the following summer.
In 2016, I was finding I could no longer work full days, and my hair was falling out. When I felt that work was finally slow enough to go to the doctor, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and told to take a month off of work to rest. HA! It didn’t seem possible at that point. However, I did take 2 weeks off then go back at half time in May of 2016. Over the summer I was able to do less and less, and I finally ended up quitting my job in October 2016.

Between October 2016 and June 2018 I had the opportunity to learn how to rest and was able to work on a treatment plan for adrenal fatigue. I was feeling like I was making good progress in the first 3-4 months of 2018. Looking back now, I can see where I was sliding back a bit in April and May. In June, I experienced an extreme energy crash that left me looking for answers, since I didn’t think I had done anything significantly different than I had previously. In the beginning of July 2018, I went and saw a functional medicine doctor who ran a bunch of tests up front to figure out what other things might be wrong with me.

As mentioned in my post about the results from the last visit , my test results show that I have a yeast overgrowth, a parasite, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), and gut dysbiosis.
Previous test results indicated I have low stomach acid, nutritional deficiencies, and hormone imbalances with the adrenal glands, ovaries, and thyroid.

I have been on supplements for the hormone imbalances (previously diagnosed as adrenal fatigue) for a while. They started with my previous doctor. The new doctor is continuing to work on those issues, but with different supplements.

I started the second week of my 4 phase, 10 week treatment plan on September 10th, 2018. Phase 1 will work on the yeast, phase 2 will work on SIBO, phase 3 will work on SIBO and the parasite, and phase 4 will continue with the SIBO. The supplements for everything else will continue through the whole treatment period. This week had a little of phase 1 and 2.

I currently take 11 different supplements throughout the day. Only 1 pill is for the SIBO. Three are for the hormone imbalances, 3 are for nutritional deficiencies, and 4 are for digestive support.

Insights from last week:

I switched treatment phases in the middle of this week. I went from the antifungal nystatin to the antibiotic Xifaxin. I was very pleased to see my bowel movements get back to normal by the time I started the antibiotic. The antibiotic is causing a few minor side effects: trouble sleeping, feeling off balance/lightheaded, and moodiness.

Although trying to blog about what’s going on everyday can sometimes feel like just one more thing to do, there are a few benefits. The first is that the blog acts like a virtual accountability partner. If I write something here and know that at some point someone will read it, it helps me to succeed in doing what I wrote. I’m also finding writing things down helps me to be more strategic about my day. It also helps with tracking how I’m feeling overall so I can get a big picture view of how things are going. With my memory not working well, I don’t always remember how I am feeling week to week.

I’m also processing parts of the treatment in a different way than I might normally. For example, from day 5: The more this week goes on, the more I view the treatment process as a person trying to hold 10 very large non-helium balloons at once. Each balloon has a label- food, sleep, digestion, supplements, kid herding, chores, exercise, spiritual pursuits, social time, etc. I can only hold so many balloons at once before one pops out of my arms, or I bend over to pick one up and I drop 3 more. It’s now painfully obvious I can’t hold 10 balloons at once.

I’m not sure how to deal with the balloons. Perhaps hold different balloons on different days? But some, like the treatment medicines and supplements, HAVE to be 3 times a day, everyday. Maybe one arm can hold the every day balloons, and the other can hold a few alternating balloons? Just trying to wrap my head around it at this point is causing me anxiety.

I did some large batch cooking this week and found that having food ready to eat throughout the week was amazing. There were several days I didn’t feel like cooking last week, and it was super helpful to have food that was premade and nutritious. I will try to continue to make big batches of food 1-2 days a week so it’s one less thing to think about.

Day 8

I only slept about 5 hours last night, but am actually feeling decent this morning.

The last few days I’ve really been focusing on getting my digestive system more normal. I feel like it’s finally started to work, because I had a more normal bowel movement this morning!!! Who knew pooping could be so exciting?! Too much info too soon for a Monday?

At the end of week 1, I started ‘eating’ mostly liquids to help give my digestion a bit of a break. This has mostly consisted of pureed soup and a beef sourced protein powder called PurePaleo Protein by designs for health (sounds gross, but not bad in almond milk!) I also increased my fluid intake to 2-3 liters of water a day, and added psyllium husks for fiber.

I had a protein powder/psyillum husk drink and green soup again for breakfast, and still feeling pretty good. I got desperate over the weekend, y’all. The thought of killing things off with the treatment and then having them just hang out in my intestines wasn’t something I could handle, apparently! I did call my doctors office to ask about my liquid ‘eating’. The nurse who answered said it was fine for a few days to get things back on track. She also said everyone kind of struggles at first and that if it helps me to feel better then it’s fine! Given that information, I’m going to try and make 1 or 2 pureed soups with different veggies for some variety. If I can manage to make 2 soups today, it should last me most of the week.

I don’t even really have to cook much for my family this week because we have a ton of left overs for breakfast, lunches, and dinners. WINNING!

I have been on the computer all morning finishing up the post for phase 1/week 1 of my treatment plan, and starting the post for the 2^nd week, so at this point (about noon) I need to stop and figure out what the rest of my day is going to look like. I have a tendency to prioritize poorly sometimes. For example, I’ll make it a really big deal that laundry needs to be done but neglect the actual important thing for the day, like making soup.

I did good on prioritizing, although sometimes unexpected things come up. Take the broth I needed for the soups. I took the jars out of the freezer and this is what I saw:

I was super tired the night I put the broth in jars, and I forgot them on the counter and then went upstairs to take a bath. My husband happened by a while later, and I asked him to put them in the fridge for me. Normally I leave the lids on really loose until the broth cools and before I put them in the freezer. I think he tightened them a bit more than I usually do, because the jars were not overfilled.

So I did what anyone who spent hours making bone broth would do….I put the jars upside down in a glass bowl and microwaved them to get my broth!

After a few minutes in the microwave, all the glass pieces fell off, and the frozen broth chunks were left. I extracted the broth chunks with some tongs, dumped the glass into the trash and rinsed the bowl, then returned the broth chucks to the bowl to microwave them some more.

I realized that the broth needed to be totally liquid so I could strain it through a sieve and coffee filter to make sure all the glass pieces were out. Fun fact: broth does not go through a coffee filter that well. I think the fat clogs up the filter. So I had to use several filters. I’m not even making this up.

So the ‘simple’ task of thawing broth to make soup later in the day took about 30 times longer than I anticipated.

Because the broth thawing took longer than planned, I made a poor food choice for lunch. Since I was out of green soup, I had some left over gluten free waffles I found in the fridge. So much for going all liquid.

After lunch, I went out to run a bunch of errands, including getting ingredients for the soups I would be making:

Here are the recipes I tried today:

Garlic infused olive oil: https://www.fodmapeveryday.com/recipes/garlic-infused-oil/

Low FODMAP Silky Zucchini Soup: https://www.gatheredtable.com/recipes/965123

Carrot Ginger Soup: https://www.foodfanatic.com/recipes/carrot-ginger-soup-recipe/#print

The zuchinni soup called for the garlic infused olive oil, which I was excited to try since I haven’t been able to have garlic recently. Apparently, the fructans in onions and garlic are water soluble, but not oil soluble, which is why the garlic infused olive oil is considered low FODMAP. It wasn’t as strongly flavored I had hoped, but I still used it in the soup recipe.

The zucchini soup I liked, and it was written to be low FODMAP. This is going to sound weird, but it kind of tasted like a breadstick dipped in a pesto/spaghetti tasting sauce. I think the macadamia nuts in the recipe are what give it the unique flavor. This soup made a big batch, which is awesome! I’m going to leave one big jar out for this week, and freeze the smaller ones so that I have some available for days I don’t feel like cooking.

The carrot soup was a normal recipe, so I had to modify a few things to get it to be low FODMAP. The result was ok. I think it would be amazing with the garlic and onions in the recipe for those who can eat them. I added some paprika, chipotle chili powder, some additional cayenne, and about ¾ tsp salt and that seemed to help. This soup made about 5 cups less than the other soup, so I still have lots of leftovers

.

I’m glad I made two soups today. That will help me feel like I have choices for my liquid ‘eating’ the rest of the week. I also made a few cups of brown rice to go with the soups for an easy grain for the rest of the week.

As you may have already surmised, my energy levels have been surprisingly good for how little I slept last night. While I was able to keep myself motivated to keep going with my to-do list, I did find I was super irritable today.

One other thing to note about today- cortisol manager had been recommended to me by my new doc, but they were out of stock when they recommended it. The supplement came in today, so it’s the first night that I’ve taken it. It should help with the hormone imbalances. I had some adrenal building herbs given to me by my previous doc, and I had been taking those while I waited.

Tomorrow I’ll have a lot fewer errands to run, and I’m hoping to get to the gym to work out a bit and sit in the sauna. I’m also hoping to do some laundry and do some general cleaning around the house (which I have been terrible at since the energy crash in June).

Overall, I can say I did feel noticeably better today, with obvious GI distress or pill side effects. YAY!

Day 9

I didn’t sleep well again last night, and I’m feeling kind of lethargic. I also noticed when I woke up that my sinuses were super dry. I’ve been purposely pounding water, so I don’t think I’m dehydrated. It might be time to start up the humidifier!

 I think not sleeping well the last few nights might be due to lack of exercise. I think I only made it to the gym once last week. Most of the time I go I only do 30 minutes on an elliptical, but it seems to help with sleep quite a bit.

I had the carrot soup for breakfast this morning, and was brave with the psyllium husk and went from a half to a whole teaspoon.

I ran several errands before heading to the gym for an hour long gentle yoga class. I was gone for about 4 hours, then came home and started some laundry.  I also had to pick up my step daughter and her friends from school later in the afternoon, fix them a snack, make them dinner, and then take them to a tumbling class. I realized a little too late that the location of the tumbling class had been moved from last year, and instead of being 5 minutes from our house it was 15 minutes away. I hate running late to things like that; it tends to trigger my anxiety. Between all the errands, house chores, and kid herding I was feeling really anxious for about an hour. When I got home I went and walked the dogs to help calm myself a little.

This is the first Tuesday we’ve had my step daughter where she had tumbling classes instead of regular cheer practice.  In future weeks, I will make sure not to plan much for Tuesdays and focus on crockpot meals!

Even though I did quite a bit today I didn’t feel great while doing it. I’m still thinking it’s due to lack of sleep.

I ‘ate’ mostly soups today, with a muffin, some grapes, and a protein bar being the only ‘solid’ things I ate. Surprisingly, I’m not that hungry if I eat enough soup. I’ve been trying to put extra garlic infused olive oil in the soup after I heat it up to help with satiety.

I did have a bowel movement today, but it was a 1 on the Bristol scale, which indicates constipation.  I guess I should just be happy I had movement 2 days in a row!

I’m drinking my magnesium supplement as I’m writing (9:45 pm) and starting to get tired. Since I ran around frequently today and got some exercise I’m hopeful that I will sleep better tonight!

Day 10

I didn’t sleep well again last night. Part of that was I had a hard time falling asleep due to the anxiety I experienced from yesterday evening, and some of it was waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep.

I was able to do some laundry and cleaning this morning, but after lunch I could barely keep my eyes open. I tried to take a nap, but not sure I actually slept much. I mostly just laid down and rested for a few hours.

I pushed myself to go to the gym later in the afternoon to see if that would help with sleep.

On my way to the gym I think I experienced a prolonged hot flash. I only experienced hot flashes with the antifungal the first day or so, and then sporadically when I didn’t eat enough.

My bowels were moving again today, which makes it 3 days in a row! Still a Bristol scale 1, but at least things are moving.

I was hoping to have normal bowel movements by the time I started the antibiotic for SIBO tomorrow. While I have been more regular the last few days, I wouldn’t say things are back to normal.

Speaking of tomorrow, I’m a little nervous starting the new medication. The pharmacist had mentioned that many people experience lightheadedness the first day or two they start taking Xifaxin. I intentionally did not plan anything for tomorrow in the event I experienced any side effects. With other prescription drugs I’ve taken, I don’t often experience side effects.

I think I’m going to try an Epsom salt bath tonight and see if it helps with sleep at all.

Day 11

I slept a little better last night, but still not long enough. I had the wired/tired feeling when trying to go to bed, which is related to the adrenal fatigue. I woke up early again for no particular reason.

I was super irritable this morning, and generally pretty sluggish. I did have a normal bowel movement, though! So that was exciting.

At this point in the day I’ve taken 2 Xifaxin doses. I noticed a little bit of lightheadedness at lunch, but it wasn’t pronounced.

I do feel pretty ‘spacey’ today…I’m having a difficult time tracking with one thing, and am getting easily distracted.

The last two days I’ve been in my Pjs until late afternoon. The last few months I had been doing a good job of getting dressed right after breakfast and feeling prepared for the day. The last two days I just haven’t felt like it. Taking a shower and getting dressed just seems like more energy than it’s worth. Sometimes it’s those types of details that let me know how tired I actually am.

I’m also noticing a higher level of resistance to starting tasks. For example, I need to go check the mail and drop off a package at the post office. Most days, that’s an easy task. Today, getting the gumption to put on normal clothes and leave the house just isn’t happening.

My guess is that the tiredness and lack of motivation is related to not sleeping the last few days.

Later in the afternoon, and a few hours after taking my dinner dose of Xifaxin I did start to notice that I felt off balance, which could be related to the light headed symptom I was warned about. I also noticed I was significantly more hungry than normal. I wonder if it’s related to the gut bacteria dying off…maybe they’re sending signals for food because they’re dying off?

The wired/tired feeling was present again before bed. It was likely exacerbated by being out of the house too late. I haven’t seen my husband much this week, so I rode with him to go pick up our daughter from cheering at a volleyball game, which would have been a short trip. Except for the last game had just started, so we stayed to watch since we were already there. Then we ended up taking another one of the cheer girls home after the game was over. What would have been a 40 minute excursion turned into a 2.5 hour excursion and not getting home until 10:30pm. Next time I’ll just stay home.

Day 12

Between staying out late yesterday, not falling asleep til midnight, and being woken up at 6:15 this morning, I didn’t sleep well or long enough. Oddly enough, I don’t feel as tired as I did yesterday.

The more this week goes on, the more I view the treatment process as a person trying to hold 10 very large non-helium balloons at once. Each balloon has a label- food, sleep, digestion, supplements, kid herding, chores, exercise, spiritual pursuits, social time, etc. I can only hold so many balloons at once before one pops out of my arms, or I bend over to pick one up and I drop 3 more. It’s now painfully obvious I can’t hold 10 balloons at once.

I’m not sure how to deal with the balloons. Perhaps hold different balloons on different days? But some, like the treatment medicines and supplements, HAVE to be 3 times a day, everyday. Maybe one arm can hold the every day balloons, and the other can hold a few alternating balloons? Just trying to wrap my head around it at this point is causing me anxiety.

So, I’ll move to other topics.

Soup update: Yes, I ‘ate’ liquids most of the rest of the week. I did have a burger patty and a brat last night for dinner and felt fine, so there have been some solid foods here and there.

 Remember on day 1 of this week where I was saying I had so much left over soup that I was going to freeze some? Well, that didn’t happen. When you eat soup for 3 meals a day on most days, those jars get used up really fast. I think I’m down to one serving of carrot soup and 2-3 servings of zuchinni soup. I loved having a quick, nutrient dense meal ready when I needed it. I will try and continue making a large batch of soup a week just for when I don’t feel like cooking.

Digestion Update: I had a normal bowel movement AGAIN this morning! That’s a few days in a row now. I can’t tell you how excited I am that my digestion is back to normal now that I’m in the antibiotic phase!

 I do think the soup helped with this, as well as adding the psyllium husks to my routine. I’m going to try and go back to eating mostly solid foods and see what happens.

I’ve mentioned feeling wired/tired before bed the past few evenings. Tonight was a little different. For lack of a better word, I felt caffeinated. After about 9pm I was feeling pretty restless and decided to go shopping at Ross since they close at 11pm. I figured I had been going to bed later than that the past few nights and figured it wouldn’t be a big deal. It took me a long time to start to feel tired- probably around 1 am.

Day 13

I probably slept 6-7 hours last night. Not enough, but I didn’t feel terrible when I woke up.

My digestive tract continues to move normally.

Today my husband helped a girl from out church move. I didn’t ‘move’ so much as fetch forgotten items and tried to make sure people were staying hydrated. I carried a few things here and there, but nothing heavy.

I discovered when I arrived at the apartment that if I moved quickly I was really off balance, and that I was pretty irritable. I also discovered stairs don’t help with feeling off balance.

I was probably out of the house 4-5 hours. When I got back I had some lunch and then could barely keep my eyes open. I slept for about 2.5 hours in the afternoon, and woke up in time for dinner.

It’s about 8pm currently, and I’m still feeling tired and off balance. I’m wondering if I’ll be able to go to bed at a normal time tonight, or if I’ll start feeling caffeinated again in few hours.

I wondered if the caffeinated feeling was related to the Xifaxin, so I spent some time trying to see what other people’s experiences with Xifaxin were and stumbled across this forum thread.

It looks like other people have experienced increased hunger and moodiness, but I haven’t yet found where other people feel caffeinated. I did, however, find that trouble sleeping is a common side effect of Xifaxin. I’m going to assume that my feeling caffeinated is related to the trouble sleeping side effect.

After thinking about the forum thread I read where people experienced increased hunger, I recalled that when I quit gluten in the summer of 2016 that I was RAVENOUS for about a week. It didn’t matter how much I ate, I was starving 10 minutes later.

In relation to FODMAPs, I know I have big reactions with onions and garlic, both of which belong to the fructan category. Wheat also falls into the fructan category, and I wonder if the hunger I had when I stopped eating it was related to SIBO bacteria versus an allergy or sensitivity.

Day 14

I didn’t sleep well again. We went to church this morning and I noticed I couldn’t quite catch my breath. This is a new symptom, and not sure what it's related to.

I spent much of the afternoon lying in bed and binge watching a show on Amazon. I was too wired to sleep, but too tired to do anything upright.

I managed to drag myself to the store in the early evening to get a few things for dinner this week.

I noticed after dinner that I was craving carbs. My cycle should be starting in a few days so I’m going to assume that’s PMS related.

I took an epsom salt and lavender essential oil bath hoping it would help make me tired. It did help me to relax, but I didn’t fall asleep until midnight.

As am editing this blog post I'm noticing how I write less on the days I'm tired. I'm going to assume that the post for week 3 is going to be relatively short...lol.

Phase 1/week 1 of treatment: yeast overgrowth

I tried to split this post into three sections-background, insights from the last two weeks, and a summary of each day. If you are a friend or family member, I’d recommend sticking with the background and insights. If you’re someone who is having digestive issues or is wondering what treatment might be like, I’d recommend reading everything.

This post is for informational purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose anyone. Go see a doctor for diagnosis and treatment.

 Also, my brain fog is pretty intense at times. I try to make sure what I write is correct, but I may get things wrong from time to time.

Background:

This particular bout of health issues flared in 2015. My job had become extremely stressful and travel intensive, in conjunction with some major life changes: moving in with my boyfriend, becoming a Christian, getting married 2 weeks after being proposed to, becoming a step parent, then planning a wedding reception for the following summer. In 2016, I was finding I could no longer work full days, and my hair was falling out. When I felt that work was finally slow enough to go to the doctor, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and told to take a month off of work to rest. HA! It didn’t seem possible at that point. However, I did take 2 weeks off then go back at halftime in May of 2016. Over the summer I was able to do less and less, and I finally ended up quitting my job in October 2016.

Between October 2016 and June 2018 I had the opportunity to learn how to rest and was able to work on a treatment plan for adrenal fatigue. I was feeling like I was making good progress in the first 3-4 months of 2018. Looking back now, I can see where I was sliding back a bit in April and May. In June, I experienced an extreme energy crash that left me looking for answers, since I didn’t think I had done anything significantly different than I had previously. At the beginning of July 2018, I went and saw a functional medicine doctor who ran a bunch of tests up front to figure out what other things might be wrong with me.

As mentioned in my post about the results from the last visit, my test results show that I have a yeast overgrowth, a parasite, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), and gut dysbiosis.
Previous test results indicated I have low stomach acid, nutritional deficiencies, and hormone imbalances with the adrenal glands, ovaries, and thyroid.

I have been on supplements for the hormone imbalances (previously diagnosed as adrenal fatigue) for a while. They started with my previous doctor. The new doctor is continuing to work on those issues, but with different supplements.

I started day 1 of my 4 phase, 10 week treatment plan on September 3^rd, 2018. Phase 1 will work on the yeast, phase 2 will work on SIBO, phase 3 will work on SIBO and the parasite, and phase 4 will continue with the SIBO. The supplements for everything else will continue through the whole treatment period.

Treatment for phase 1 is focusing on killing off the yeast imbalance. I currently take 11 different supplements throughout the day. Only 1 pill is for the yeast. Three are for the hormone imbalances, 3 are for nutritional deficiencies, and 4 are for digestive support.

I take 7 different types of supplements at breakfast:

                                                             Breakfast of champions?

Insights from the last two weeks:

I spent much of my prep time trying to figure out a good way to track and organize pills. I wanted to prep food, but trying to find recipes that were both paleo and low FODMAP was overwhelming to me. I also wasn’t paying close attention to what I was eating during the prep week.

Prior to starting the first week of treatment, I had unknowingly eaten several high FODMAP foods and I wasn’t drinking enough water. Some days I didn’t get my one grain in, so I was lacking fiber in a big way (lots of veggies that have high fiber are also high FODMAP). All of that appears to be a recipe for very sluggish digestion.

By the time I started the treatment last Monday my digestion felt slow, and it only got worse during days 4-6. I am currently on day 8, and things are just starting to move a little better.

If I had to do it over again, I might have given myself 2 weeks of prep- one to figure out pills, and one to figure out food.

If you find yourself with a similarly prescribed diet (paleo-ish and low FODMAP), pay close attention to your fiber and water intake! The last few days, I’ve been taking about ½ tsp of psyllium husk 2-3x a day which seems like it might be helping. I plan to increase the dose slowly over several days. I’ve also been drinking at least 2 liters of water a day. I use a Nalgene bottle to keep track. I’m getting extra fluid in addition to the 2 Nalgenes when I take supplements or drink tea so it might be closer to 2.5-3 liters when the day is done.

The last 2 days, I’ve been ‘eating’ mostly liquids- pureed green veggie soup and a protein powder mix. I wasn’t feeling hungry for solid food because my digestion was super messed up, so I figured liquid food would give my digestive system a break. This was a ‘listening to my body’ thing, not something that was recommended. If you are in a similar situation check with your doc first. I’m going to check in with mine today since it’s Monday. I felt surprisingly good yesterday afternoon/evening and this morning, so I’m going to see if it’s ok to keep doing.

I’m finding my brain fog isn’t quite as bad as earlier in the week. During my prep phase and the first part of week 1, I recall having trouble tracking with one on one conversations. Yesterday, I could track conversations as long as I wasn’t interrupted.

I still can’t do a task that I have to think about and have someone talk to me, and multiple noises at once make me really irritable and/or anxious- I just can’t process it well. My memory might be a little better, but it could just be I’m getting better at writing things down when I think about them.

Day 1

Today I started on the Nystatin to kill off the yeast overgrowth.

After I ate breakfast and took my morning pills I started cleaning the kitchen. After about an hour, I felt unusually hot (hot flash?!) and a little weak so I got some water and sat down for a while. The more I sat, the more exhausted I felt. I haven’t been sleeping well for the last several days, so not sure if it was medicine related. I ended up taking a couple hour nap about 2 hours after I took the first dose.

After taking the second dose with lunch, I figured I’d relax for about an hour since I’d had a hot flash about an hour after the first pill. I didn’t notice anything after about an hour and a half, so I got up and started doing things around the house. THEN I got another hot flash. They seem to happen when I’m doing things, and not necessarily a certain time after each pill.

With taking the last days’ dose with dinner, I figured the hot flash would come at some point, so I didn’t try to anticipate it. My husband and I waited for about an hour after dinner before taking the dogs on a 40 minute walk around the neighborhood. About halfway through the walk, I felt a little light-headed, and the hot flash didn’t come until we got home, so about 2 hours after the dinner dose.

I ended up making a late trip to the grocery store after the dog walk so that I had everything I needed for the week. I wasn’t successful in doing much in the way of meal prep over the weekend, but I was able to come up with a meal plan that would have me cooking every other day instead of every day.

Day 2

I slept much better last night, but don’t think I slept long enough. It would be helpful if I developed better sleep hygiene habits! Going to the grocery store right before bed last night probably wasn’t the best idea, but at least it’s done.

After both the breakfast and lunch dose today I didn’t notice hot flashes like day 1. About 2 hours after lunch I am noticeably more tired than I was this morning. I also noticed my throat was a little sore, but that may be due to allergies- sage and ragweed have both been high for the last week or so, and many people I know are having allergy symptoms at the moment.

Even though I was tired, I went to the gym in the late afternoon and did 30 minutes on an elliptical….hoping it will help me sleep better and help with some of my blood values that were off.

Nothing noticeable after the third dose at dinner.

Day 3

Over the last few days, I have recognized that my digestion is sluggish. This morning when I woke up, I realized that I needed to eat because my blood sugar was low, but food didn’t sound good at all because of my sluggish digestion.

I ate anyway so I could take my pills, but not much sounded good.

I haven’t experienced any obvious reactions with the pills at breakfast or lunch.

I do feel more tired overall. They way I am gauging this is level of lethargy and physical energy.

Currently, I’m hyper focused on what symptoms I might be having. I recognize that if I were still working or running lots of errands, I probably wouldn’t notice what’s going on as much.

No symptoms after dinner.

Day 4

No reactions to medicines or supplements I’ve taken today.

At this point things updates are getting repetitive, aren’t they?

The biggest thing going on is that my digestion is still slugglish. I’m eliminating about every other day, and the stool on the Bristol scale is between 1 & 3 (towards the constipated end). Did you know there was a scale to analyze your bowel movements? Here’s a link to a chart if you're curious: https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/poop-chart-bristol-stool-scale

 I’m a little nervous about that. If I’m going to be taking medicines to kill stuff in my body I’d like to eliminate the little microscopic corpses instead of carrying them around in my intestines….my intestines have enough issues already!

I have been taking natural calm (magnesium supplement) in the evenings to help with sleep, but if you take enough of it can also have a laxative effect. I’ve increased my dose to one teaspoon in the evening AND in the morning to see if that helps. I called my doctor to see if there was anything else I should be trying. They recommended Psyllium husks.

I’m noticeably more tired today, but that’s because I went to an event last evening, then didn’t sleep enough.

Day 5

I went and had lymph drainage massage done this morning, which can sometimes make you feel tired later in the day. I had a few times today that I felt tired, but they didn’t last long.  I went because I felt like I may have had lymph fluid collecting in my left arm pit area, and sure enough, the left side needed some work!

Between the sluggish digestion and lymph work, I knew I needed more water. I just haven’t been thirsty lately, so drinking enough has been hard. Currently, I’m at 2 liters of water, not counting the broth in the soup we ate for dinner, and the almond milk I use to mix one of my supplements in. It’s 7 pm as I’m writing this, so I still have more time for liquids!

I’ve not been doing a great job following diet directions… I’m supposed to be eating grains once a day, but some days it’s easier to not eat any grains at all. Today I made sure I had some rice with lunch. After that, I was craving carbs. I ate a bunch of gluten free crackers after lunch. After dinner I thought coconut milk ice cream sounded amazing, but I’m going to resist (which is easy because we don’t have any in the house). I haven’t had many sugar or carb cravings lately, so we’ll see if it happens again tomorrow.

Later in the evening I felt pretty bloated…I think it was the crackers:/

Still no noticeable difference in how I’m feeling.

Day 6

I slept for about 10.5 hours last night, and I felt almost normal this morning!

Until it came time for breakfast…my digestion is pretty screwed up at this point, and eating did not sound good at all. I drank fluids until my blood sugar got low, then made some breakfast.

Before starting the treatment plan, I ate a few things that I didn’t realize were high FODMAP, so I think  my digestion was slowing down before I even started treatment.

This morning I drank some olive oil and lemon on an empty stomach, did an abdominal massage, and jumped on the rebounder for a few minutes in an effort to get things moving….no such luck. I made a large batch of green soup today, so I’ll try and eat that for a few meals in an attempt to give my system a break from harder to digest foods for a bit.

As I mentioned, I felt pretty good after I woke up, but after the first round of pills and eating I’ve felt tired and a little weak for most of the day.

Also of note- I got stung this afternoon by a wasp on my right ring finger. I did feel slightly nauseous for a few hours afterwards. It’s 8 pm as I’m writing this, and the closest joint to the sting is starting to feel achy.

Overall- still nothing noticeably different except that my digestion messed up.

Day 7 (and a touch of 8)

As I was surveying the kitchen today, I noticed a large jar on top of the fridge that I forgot was there. It contained a protein powder that was derived from beef. Since I had decided to give my digestion a rest by eating mostly liquid foods (I wouldn’t recommend that anyone else do this without checking with their doctor or nutritionist first. Day 6 and 7 were over the weekend and nothing I was doing was working so I decided to experiment), I thought it would be a good supplement to take in addition to my green soup.

I only ate green soup (spinach, chard, garbanzo beans, bone broth, lemon, cayenne, salt, pepper, topped with olive oil) with the protein powder today, except for a low FODMAP friendly protein bar while I was out shopping. I also started to add psyllium powder in with the protein powder mix for some fiber. 

I was still able to take all my supplements at their normal times without any stomach upset. Actually, the only supplement I wasn’t taking with the liquids was the digestive enzyme. It seems to be more helpful with high protein meat meals, but I need to ask about taking it with the liquid foods as well.

I was surprised by how much energy I had in the afternoon. I went homecoming shopping with my step-daughter, and we were out and about for about 5 hours. I still could have kept going, but we had to go home and get the kid some dinner. When we left the house, I was thinking that I’d be able to do 2 hours max…I was surprised! The homecoming shopping was surprisingly fun and exciting, and I’m thinking that it must have helped with energy a little bit.

That concluded day 7.

I did not sleep much of day 7 going into 8, maybe 5 hours. I’m not sure why I woke up, but once I was up I couldn’t go back to sleep. For as little sleep as I got, I actually feel pretty good this morning- the best I felt since starting the treatment. I'm not sure if feeling better is related to one specific thing...it's more likely that there are a few things that are coming together at this point.

Treatment Preparation

To start off- I’m not a doctor, nor do I pretend to be one on TV. I’m sharing my results and what treatments were recommended to me by my doctor in the hopes it’s useful to hear about someone else’s experience.  None of this information is intended to diagnose or treat anyone.

 Also, my brain fog is pretty intense at times. I try to make sure what I write is correct, but I may get things wrong from time to time.

I talked about my treatment plan at the end of my 3rd functional doctor visit: Results and a treatment plan for GI issues post.

To recap quickly, it’s a 10 week plan with 4 different phases, and each phase is targeting a part of my diagnosis.

When I look at the plan objectively, it does not seem difficult. I have to take a bunch of pills at different times of day. During certain phases I have to eat certain foods and other weeks I’m to follow a paleo-ish diet.

Practically, however, this is overwhelming to me.

Why?

First, my brain doesn’t work like it used to, because one of my symptoms is brain fog. The best analogy I can come up with is this: my brain used to work like a new computer- it was fast and could handle lots of windows and programs open at once. Currently, my brain works like my 8 year old desktop- it’s got lots of programs and junk on it so it’s bogged down and slow. If too many things are open or happening at once, I cease being able to take input and I will have to go lay down. If I focus on one thing at a time, I seem to do ok. If there are 2 or more things happening at once, I don’t process well.

Second, I have fatigue that is unpredictable. I have a certain level of fatigue all the time. The all-the-time fatigue limits me to 1 big thing a day (going out for lunch, going to the gym, going to church), or 2-3 small things a day (appointment, chores, making meals, picking up the kid from school, etc.).  Some days it’s much worse, and I can get up and have breakfast, nap for a few hours, get up and sit upright for a few hours, sort of eat something for dinner, sit around some more, then go to bed. Those days, I have no motivation, and nothing gets done. Before the big energy crash in June, I knew what things would make me tired for a few days. At this point, I don’t always know what triggers the higher fatigue days.

So, on a practical level the brain fog makes it hard to complete sequential steps because any other thing that comes up becomes a tangent. Example: I’m awake! I’ll go downstairs and eat breakfast and take my pills. Oh, the dog wants out. Oh look, there’s tomatoes that are ready to be picked. Maybe I’ll go out to the garden and see what else needs to be picked. Wow, there’s a lot of weeds in the yard…it’s nice and cool out now, maybe I’ll just pick a few. Wait, wasn’t I going to have breakfast? This happens all day long with different things.

On bad fatigue day, things that I would normally do, like cooking breakfast, become really hard. Like prepping to climb a mountain hard. It seems like so much work I just don’t do it. On those days, I tend to eat poorly and don’t eat enough. I also tend to be apathetic, which isn’t great when you’re trying to relate to people.

Knowing that brain fog and fatigue are going to be my biggest hurdles during treatment, I’m trying to take them into consideration while I’m preparing to start treatment. I'm allowing myself almost a week to prepare so that I can give myself enough time to process through everything, and because I want to start treatment on a Monday.

Preparations:

1.       A new pill organizer

My treatment plan as given to me by my doctor consists of a giant list of pills with how many and what time of day to take them. This includes every thing over the entire course of treatment, so it’s a little overwhelming since I’m taking certain pills during certain weeks. I already get confused looking at it during the day, so I decided I needed a bigger pill organizer! As you can see, my old pill organizer (the blue one) only had pills for am and pm, and the new one has compartments for four times a day. I’m hopeful that just having all the pills ready to go and not having to think about them will work out for me.

2.       Checklists and trackers!

Not only is checking stuff off a list immensely satisfying, but I can make my checklists in Excel, and I LOOOVEEE me some excel spreadsheets! In fact, I decided that a nicely crafted Excel spreadsheet is one of my love languages…lol

I currently have 3 spreadsheets started:

-A 10-week pill tracker that has all the right pills at the right times of day, and has the right pills for the right phases. Being consistent with taking pills is not something I have ever been good at. I’m hoping if I can check off each pill as it’s taken, that I will remember to take them.

-A general daily schedule to help keep me on track. As I mentioned, I tend to get off task really easy. I’m hoping to use the general schedule to help me fill in my day planner appropriately.  I’m hoping if I have a plan already written out it will help me stay on track.

3     Not planning/starting many new things; rescheduling things that are close to a meal

I have found it’s hard for me to have events scheduled close to meal times, especially breakfast. Since I never know how sleep will go, I may or may not wake up with enough time to make breakfast AND take all my pills. Anything over the next 10 weeks that is scheduled before about 1pm will need to be rescheduled for the afternoon. For 10 weeks, my whole life will revolve around eating and taking pills.
I had a handful of things that I’ve scheduled for the next 10 weeks. I’m going to try and do them if I can. However, I’m not going to try and plan or start a bunch of new things. For example, a friend told me about a weekly community Bible study on Thursdays from 9:15 to 11:15am. I really wanted to do it, but with it starting early and being close to both breakfast and lunch, I realized it just wasn’t something that was going to work in this season. I realize being social is still important during a time like this, so I will still make plans to see friends on occasion, but only at times that work for me. I’ll probably rely on phone calls more to keep in touch with people because it’s easier to do spontaneously.

4    Symptom correlation

I did this today! About a month ago, I downloaded a symptom tracker called ‘my symptoms'. 

It tracks dang near everything- meals, drinks, sleep, exercise, bowel movements, supplements, more I can’t remember, and there’s even an ‘other’ category where you can add random stuff that doesn’t really fit into another category. Since my only noticeable GI symptom of SIBO is constipation, I went through a csv file I was able to export from the app and see what foods may have caused constipation. For me, I have a lag time of about 2 days between the food and symptom, so it took me a while to go through and try and figure out which foods were the problem. Onions are a really obvious trigger food. It seems that squash may also be a trigger, but not as bad as onions. I wanted to identify trigger foods so I knew what they were. 

5     Find recipes

I need to confirm this with my doctor, but I think I eat a paleo-ish diet during phases 1 and 4, and eat a bunch of high FODMAP foods during phases 2 and 3. *Update- I called my doctor to clarify what I should and shouldn't be eating during different phases, and they told me to NOT eat a bunch of high FODMAP foods that trigger symptoms because it can make you feel bad. Good thing, I called....I was remembering my research and not what they told me*
I’d like to find several good recipes for both phases, and have them printed out and ready to look at. I also need to either find recipes that make leftovers, or start doubling recipes…. it’s really nice not to have to cook every night, and this may help to cut down on the number of freezer meals I need to prepare. I’m hoping to do this tonight and tomorrow.

6    Food prep

I know there are going to be bad fatigue days where I won’t want to cook during the process. I’m hoping if I can make and freeze a few meals that I’ll at least be able to eat well on those days. Because of the amount and type of pills I’m taking, I need to take them with a decent meal. A few weeks ago, I ate a small meal and took all my supplements with it and felt really nauseous….it was not fun. I don’t think I’ll be able to prep food for the whole treatment period, but I’m thinking if I could make a few meals for the next 2 weeks it will be a start. I’m mentally preparing myself to do meal prep about once every week or two throughout the process. I’m hoping to do the initial meal prep over the weekend.

There was one last loose end that got tied up today that I was super excited about. One of the antibiotics that was prescribed was Xifaxin (Rifaximin), which is notoriously expensive. My doctor had faxed the prescription into a pharmacy, and we were waiting to see how much my insurance would cover. When I called the pharmacy this morning they told me that after insurance I was looking at about $1300 for the pills I needed. But then they told me they applied some sort of other co pay discount, and it brought the price down to about $200. I was dumbfounded! When the rep asked if I could do the lower amount it took me a few seconds before I was able to say yes! I was so overwhelmed with gratitude with the lower price that when I got off the phone I just spent a few minutes praising God.

The doctor was waiting on finalizing the treatment plan until we found out the price of the Xifaxin, so it felt like a relief to get it paid for and figured out.

So that’s what I’m doing to prepare. Hopefully, all these preparations are worth it!

3rd functional doctor visit: Results and a treatment plan for GI issues

To start off- I’m not a doctor, nor do I pretend to be one on TV. I’m sharing my results and what treatments were recommended to me by my doctor in the hopes it’s useful for others to hear about someone else’s experience.  None of this information is intended to diagnose or treat anyone.

 Also, my brain fog is pretty intense at times. I try to make sure what I write is correct, but I may get things wrong from time to time.

On August 28^th, 2018 I had my 3^rd appointment with the functional medicine doctor. We reviewed the data for the SIBO breath test, the stool panel, and the urine analysis.

My 1st appointment was a 2 hour long session to cover my health history and order tests.

My 2nd appointment was to go over bloodwork results, hormone results, betaine HCL trial results, and talk about a treatment plan given the findings from those tests.

At the end of the 2^nd appointment, the doctor noticed that the SIBO lab had come in early so she looked at it quickly. She told me I had methane dominant SIBO, but didn’t go into much detail.

I spent much of my time between the 2^nd and 3^rd appointment looking up as much information as I could about SIBO and related issues. Based on what I had read, I went to the 3^rd appointment prepared for a complex treatment plan.

What is SIBO, you may ask? I'll summarize it a little here, but this article gives a pretty good overview.

SIBO stands for small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. While there is bacteria present all along your digestive system, your small intestine is not supposed to have much compared to the large intestine and colon. As far as I understand, the bacteria that overgrows in your small intestine is not necessarily bad bacteria, it's just that it's growing in the wrong place. SIBO can cause lots of digestive issues and icky GI symptoms. Before the test, I did not think I had SIBO because I really only ever experience one normal SIBO symptom- constipation. However, I also found that SIBO can cause fatigue and brain fog, both of which I have experienced for about 2.5 years.

We started out reviewing the SIBO test results, which was pretty quick since I already knew I had methane dominant SIBO.

My treatment course for SIBO looks a little different than others I had seen online, but I’ll talk more about it at the end of this post. The reason for this is because my SIBO treatment takes into account other issues that came up in the tests. Just like every person is different, each SIBO treatment for an individual may vary depending on what other issues they have. 

The doctor then walked me through the results of the GI effects stool profile. I did look up the interpretation guide for this test a few weeks prior to the 3^rd appointment, but I didn’t spend as much time looking at it, because there are lots of potential results.

The results indicated I have a parasite, I don’t digest fats well, I have a yeast overgrowth, and the bacteria in my gut are not well balanced.

The parasite results are pretty easy to understand- they’re either found in your stool or they’re not. It turns out I have blastocystis hominis.

When I asked my doctor how one obtains blastocystis, she said it was fecal to oral transmission typically from contaminated food or water. Gross! I learned from the CDC website  just now that people who have blastocystis may or may not have any symptoms. Given everything else we found, I don’t know what, if any role, it might play in my health issues. My treatment for this parasite is an antibiotic called metronidazole.

The stool samples had quite a bit of fat in them, meaning I don’t break down fats well. The test splits fats into triglycerides, long-chain fatty acids, cholesterol, and phospholipids. My values for phospholipids and long-chain fatty acids were over the reference range, the triglyceride value was on the high end, and cholesterol was normal. The total fat count was over the reference range. I was prescribed a digestive enzyme that should help with the fat break down until my gut health improves.

The yeast result was not a surprise to me in general, but the way it showed up in the lab was surprising. I have had issues with yeast in the past, and I know if I eat lots of sugar I will end up with a yeast infection. In the stool results, yeast showed up on the low end of the range, but apparently, if it shows up at all it indicates the number would have been higher before it reached the lab. The yeast will be treated with a round of Nystatin.

The gut bacteria imbalance results were the ones I found most interesting.

 I had previously thought that lots of good bacteria in your gut are good. However, having too much good bacteria in your gut can be bad, because they can out compete the other good bacteria. For example, I have some lactobacillus, but it’s on the low end. I have lots of other bacteria that are quite high and aren’t allowing some of the other types of good bacteria to thrive.

In conjunction with the bacterial levels being imbalanced, my results indicate I have low short chain fatty acids (SCFA). SCFA’s are produced by good gut bacteria as part of their fermentation processes and help the gut to be healthy. Until we can get the gut levels rebalanced, I’ll be taking a supplement called probutyrate to help with the low levels.

After all of the GI effects results, we went over a small portion of the urine analysis results. I had completely forgotten I had given urine samples, so I was surprised when we went over those too! I think I forgot about them because they were the easiest sample to give.

We really only looked at the bacterial dysbiosis markers. Since this was towards the end of my appointment, my memory on what the doctor said about them is fuzzy. I think she was just pointing out that the gut dysbiosis markers were wonky in the urine analysis, which confirmed the results of the stool samples. I was told the urine results would be gone over in more detail at the 4^th appointment.

Let's loop back to SIBO for a moment so I can tell you how my doctor arrived at my treatment plan. There are both manmade and plant-based antibiotics that can be used to treat SIBO. The manmade antibiotics have had more studies done, and the results are pretty well established. While the plant-based antibiotics aren’t studied as well, those prescribing them have seen that they can work just as well as the manmade antibiotics.

In my research, most others treating methane dominant SIBO use a combination of Rifaximin and Neomycin that are taken at the same time.

Because of the blastocystis, I need to take a course of Metronidazole to kill it off. Apparently, Neomycin and Metronidazole can both be used in SIBO treatment. Since I already needed one manmade antibiotic, it made sense to go ahead with the Rifaximin assuming my insurance covered some of it. Rifaximin is quite expensive and tends to only be covered in certain instances, so we’re waiting to see what amount insurance might cover.

Apparently, we can replace the Rifaximin with herbals if necessary, but I got the feeling from my doctor that it’s more typical to pair like antibiotics together.

The doctor had mentioned that she had seen a different patient earlier in the day that had SIBO and other concurrent issues that needed herbals, so in that case, it made more sense to go the herbal antibiotic route for that patient. Again, depending on what other conditions a person has, the treatment can be quite different.

I had read in several others blogs that people took either Allicin or a type of guar gum to help activate the SIBO bacteria so they could be more easily killed off during the treatment phase. When I asked about this, the doctor said to focus more on food sources that cause symptoms for me rather than on another supplement. I found her to be very conscientious about level of functionality during treatment and number of pills taken at a given time.

Speaking of functionality, most other treatments I had read about combined the Rifaximin and Neomycin at the same time. With my treatment plan, I’ll be taking a course of the Nystatin to kill off the yeast, a course of Rifaximin for the SIBO, then a course of Metronidazole (Neomycin alternative) that will help with the SIBO and the parasite. The courses are taken one after the other instead of at the same time to help with functionality during the treatment.

After all of that, I’ll have a four-week course of Berberine and an olive leaf complex. This was at the very end of my appointment, and I honestly don’t remember the exact reason for this. 

The whole treatment period will take about 10 weeks.

During the active treatment, I will also be taking some supportive supplements:

•      A digestive aid
•        A SCFA supplement
•        A probiotic
•        An immune globulin concentrate to help with passive immunity

I will also be taking supplements to support other issues that were discussed in my 2nd appointment, which I’ll talk about in a different post.

While hearing about the treatment itself wasn’t overwhelming during the appointment, sitting down and trying to figure out how to get through it is becoming increasingly overwhelming, especially with decreased mental capacity. I’ll talk about prepping for the treatment phase in a different blog post.

CRASH!

This year on June 17th I turned 35. I also had the worst adrenal crash I've experienced to date.

Over the last year and a half, I had slowly been regaining my energy. I was doing so well that I spent a whole day at the end of May helping my best friend move, and was totally fine!

I had several plans in mind for the summer- camping, paddle boarding, and hiking were all high on my priority list.

My body had other plans.

The day I crashed was a Sunday. The Thursday prior I had picked my husband and daughter up from the airport after a late flight. We probably got home around one in the morning. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I didn't sleep well at all and definitely didn't get enough hours of sleep.  When I woke up on Sunday morning I was exhausted. That day, our church was having its service at a local park, and I was supposed to give announcements. I knew when I woke up there would be no way that I could go that day, so I had to ask someone else to take over my emcee responsibilities.

The next several days after the crash I realized that I hadn't felt that level of exhaustion since quitting work. All of my previous crashes had been minor; I would overdo it one day, then be a little tired for 3-4 days. I would never go back to being exhausted, though.

In the previous year and a half, there were nights that I stayed up late and/or couldn't sleep, and there were plenty of nights that I didn't get enough sleep. I couldn't understand why the crash in June was so bad when I hadn't done anything drastically different.

The whole thing was disconcerting, to say the least. I started to obsess about what had happened. I tried to think of everything I had done that might have been a contributing factor, and there was nothing I could come up with.

I finally had this thought: there must be something else that's wrong.

Not knowing what else could be wrong, I tried to think about how I could figure it out. A few years prior I had got a postcard in the mail about a functional medicine doctor that sounded really good. I happened to think about them, and looked up their website. They had a package that included 4 visits and a bunch of tests up front. The more I read, the more convinced I was that I needed to go see them.

In my old job, I analyzed data sets for complex environmental sites. Over time, my team and I discovered that when you have more data and multiple people from different specialties looking at the data, you end up with a better idea of what's going on with the site.

It made sense to me that the same concept that we applied to environmental sites could also be applied to my body. With all the tests that were run up front, and with at least 2 different doctors in the same practice looking at the data, I figured I would get some answers!

 After talking to my husband about the functional medicine package benefits and costs, we decided to go for it (even though the office visits would be out of pocket).

I had one more visit with my old doctor two days before my first functional medicine appointment. It was hard to tell her that I was going to seek a second opinion and that I would undergo more testing. She seemed surprised but told me to do what I needed to. I'm glad that I had already booked the appointment with the functional medicine doctor- if I hadn't I may very well have just kept going in the same direction with the same doctor. The things she was telling me made sense, assuming I only had adrenal fatigue. I felt that perhaps I had overreacted a bit to the crash and that maybe I was going to waste a bunch of money going down a different rabbit hole.

It turns out I was correct in my thinking that there was more wrong than just the adrenal fatigue.

I just completed the third of four visits. I'll try and post about each visit individually over the next few days.

Flailing

I'm not someone who is really into watching the Olympics, but my husband and I would catch an occasional event on TV this past summer.

Some of the events we watched were the 100 m and 400 m races.  For whatever reason, I remember the commentator pointing out that when the runners got close to the finish line some of them started to flail, which caused them to slow down a bit.

My current finish line is on October 6th, my last day of work. As I approach that finish line I feel myself flailing...slowing down.

It's harder to get up in the morning, harder to make breakfast, harder to get out of the door on time.

When I make it to the office, it's hard to pay attention.  Hard to know how to finish out my responsibilities.  Hard to know I'm letting people down.

I stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work today. After I got all the groceries put away, I had to go take a nap.

I only worked 4 hours.  Grocery shopping didn't take that long.

I know adrenal fatigue makes you exhausted, but sometimes I'm surprised by just how little I can do before I reach the point of exhaustion.

The other thing I remember about the Olympic races is what happened after people crossed the finish line.  Some people fell over, some people stayed upright.

I have obligations over the weekend, but once the 10th rolls around, I have a feeling I'm going to fall over.  I feel like this is not a bad thing....it seems like a good place to rest for a bit.

Starting Somewhere

Originally written 9/24/16

I don't know where to begin with explaining where I am.

Perhaps I'll start with the fact that after about 9.5 years, I just recently gave my employer my two week resignation notice due to health reasons.

In July 2015, while in town for my sister's bridal shower, my mom had commented that my hair was looking a little thin.  At the time, I hadn't really noticed.  Suddenly, I found myself staring at other women's heads in an attempt to ascertain if my hair was actually thinner than an average women my age.  I came to the conclusion it was.

At the time, I juggling the equivalent of 3-4 roles in my company, traveling every few weeks, and navigating relationships with people who would eventually become my husband and step daughter. I was maxed out and anxious. I didn't really have time to think about my hair being thin, or what it implied. 

Summer 2015 turned to fall.  Paul and I were engaged in early October, and married two weeks later. we both were traveling right before and after our marriage. We barely saw each other that first month as husband and wife.

Work continued to be stressful. The holidays happened in a blur.  

In late December/ early January, I felt the need to put on a multi day training for the new hires at work.  I was so overloaded with client deadlines that the training was designed, written, and scheduled almost entirely by me, and almost completely on weekends.  I essentially worked for an entire month straight.

I had gotten really good at doing what needed to be done for everyone else but myself.

The week after training, when I had some time to breath, was when I started to notice that things were going downhill. My hair loss seemed to be increasing.  I was abnormally tired.

I went to the doctor.  

We did some tests and discovered I had adrenal fatigue. The stress I had been under had maxed out my little adrenal glands, and they weren't working quite right anymore.  I found out, when you have adrenal fatigue, there are lots of things that don't work right anymore.

I couldn't work 8 hour days anymore.  I was using my flex time and vacation time to lessen the number of hours I was at work each day.

My Dr. told me to take time off work, then start working reduced hours. I did.

The time off was interesting.  I had weird symptoms pop up when I stopped working.  Heart palpitations, fluttering in my throat, waking up in a panic.  Sometimes it felt like I was being lightly choked.  The symptoms lessened over time, but were still disconcerting.

Going back at half time seemed like something I could manage. I got an office outside of my house to deal with some of the stress I was experiencing.  It helped for a while.

The summer  of 2016 had it's challenges and heartaches. We had a family tragedy in July.  My beloved dog Claire battled cancer for a month, with me as her hospice nurse. She finally had to be put to sleep in early September.

At this point it doesn't matter where stress comes from, whether it's work or home. Any stress from any where effects everything. 

I've come to the point where I feel like I am barely functioning on most days.  Sometimes I can only complete one thing well - making breakfast lets say-  and after that I'm spent. Oh I do things the rest of the day, like go to work, but I function like a zombie.

Which is how I got to the point of leaving work.

The best medicine for adrenal fatigue is rest, and that's what I plan to do.

I was reading the Bible the other day, and Matthew 10:39 jumped out at me:

"If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."

And all of a sudden, the verse made perfect sense.  It spoke to me in a way I had never heard before.

I had been clinging to my job, to my sense of pride that I could do it all and then some.
I was clinging to what the world saw as worth.

I remembered what some dear friends had told me repeatedly... that I had worth because I was a child of God, not because of all the stuff I did.

I feel like I'm in the process of being deconstructed. That the life I had clung to is being torn away.

I hold onto Matthew 10:39 as a promise.  A promise that my old life, the one I had created around the world, is passing away.  And in that death, a new life will be constructed for me that is built around God, and I count that as a joy!

A few people have asked me, and I'm sure more will, what I'll do in the future.

Will I go back to my old job?

Find a new one?

Become a permanent housewife?

The honest answer is that I'm not even thinking about it. 

I can only take care of myself one moment at a time, anything else is overwhelming.

I'm choosing to trust God in this deconstruction.  He is calling me to rest. In my Bible reading this morning, Matthew 11:28-30 spoke to me: 

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

And once I read those words, it felt like my whole being sighed and said yesssssss. Please.

So what I will do moment by moment moving forward is:

• rest

• trust that God has a plan for me

• trust that He will provide

 I have no anxiety about that. No indecision, just peace.