Friday, June 6, 2008

I should be sleeping/ selected notes from the road- Fl, TX

I've been out on jobs for the compnay the last week and 5 days. I'm on the last day of the last job, which has been an overnighter. I didn't get to sleep until 7am this morning and woke up at 1pm. I called a few people hoping if I laid in bed long enough and did something relaxing I would fall back asleep. NOPE! So I got up and decided to do some work that I needed to do, hoping that at some point I will get some more sleep before I meet the guys at 8pm.

It's been one hell of a trip thus far. Here are some highlights:

On my connecting flight to Florida, I sat next to a civil engineer that insisted on talking to me. Or, talking at me is how I should say it. Towards the end of the trip he told me his wife was going to pick him up at the airport with his dogs. I asked if he had kids, he said no. He asked if I had kids I said no, and I didn't think I wanted any. He asked if I was married, I said I probably didn't want to get married either.
He looked at me and said this: "Girl, you're damaged goods!"

I don't remember much else of the conversation, except I was mildly amused, bewilidered and irritated. I was left wondering if that man thought if I was a lesbian.

I have been thinking alot about that comment, but more on that later.

Florida was also an overnight job. It was kind of horrible. I dont really want to get into it- want to forget!

After Florida, I flew to Dallas and stayed with my parents for a few days. It was great seeing them. It was also nice to be at "home" instead of a crappy hotel.
I'll get to see them again this weekend before I fly back to Colorado.

My dad let me borrow his corvette to drive to the job site, which is about 2 hours from my parents house. It made me nervous, it's so long and low to the ground. I've really had to becareful going up inclines so I don't scrap the bottom of the car. I miss my Jeep- I can just run over stuff like curbs.

So this job looked like it would go really smoothly. The second night of field work we found out that our field equipment had a major malfunction and we couldn't use it. Luckily our equipment HQ was in Austin, so one of the guys was able to drive down and drop off our equipment, and rent a functioning unit to complete the job. We did the equivalent of two nights of work on Wednesday night- it was ridiculous....I'm still not sure how we did it. Last night we did about 1-1.5 days worth of work. Tonight should be like a normal night. I can't wait to drive back to my parents house tomorrow.

I've learned alot in the past week and 5 days about myself, field work, dealing with other people, and life in general.

I fly back to Colorado sunday night, where one of my most favorite peole will pick me up from the airport:) I can't wait to be home.

I worry about the ferrets when I'm gone. The landlord comes over twice a day to let them out when I'm gone, but I still worry that something will happen with one of them and I wont be around. Egan has a few medical problems, and I want to be there for him if he needs me. Fiona just likes to get into crap and find strange places to hide, so that concerns me when I'm gone.

I plan on spending a decent amount of time at home while I'm looks like I'll only be home for two weeks, then I'll be off on field jobs again.

I plan on going to the farmers market on Tuesday after I get back. I'm so sick of eating resturant and fast food. I feel like I need a major detox. I think about how much grease I've eaten and it grosses me out. Blechhoihafihah.

So about how I'm damaged goods....I've decided I'm not like the majority of the population. I don't need kids just because thats what you're supposed if you're a woman. I babysat my bosses kid a few weekends ago for a few days. I like spending time with him, but I dont think I want one of my own. I like to take off and do things spontaneously. I don't want to wait half an hour because the little person wants to wear a certain pair of shoes and will have a fit if he cant wear them. I don't want to constantly have to cater to a little person you can't reason with. More importantly, I don't want to be away from this little person for weeks at a time, it's hard enough being away from the ferrets. I don't want to have to worry about this little person that I would love more than myself(!) when I'm away, or just in general- the world seems like such an F'ed up place sometimes. I don't want to bring someone into the world the way it is right now. I know these things about myself.
I don't need to get married. Don't you get taxed when you get married? What kind of shit is that? Sure there are insurance benefits and stuff....but are they all that good? What if the marriage doesn't last? It seems like a bunch of people just get divorced after a few years- what happens to the insurance benefits then? Some one recently said divorce is basically just a financial transaction...why pay to get married then pay to get unmarried? (I know there are other benefits, I'm being cynical)
It seems to me that people come into my life for specific reasons at specific times- what if i just have significant relationships at the time when I need them- what if it's not with one person for the rest of my life?

I'm not saying I will NEVER have kids or get married, but at the moment I dont think those things are in store for me.

I think I'm about done rambling. I'm still not sleepy, which is unfortunate.
I hope y'all will have a good weekend!