Friday, July 12, 2013

The Blessing of the Double Rainbow

In order to get the full significance of the double rainbow, you need to know a little back story first:

I'm in a monumental transitional point in my life. As I was approaching my 30th birthday about a month ago, I kept thinking I really wanted my 30's to be a decade of true authenticity to myself.

I started shedding relationships and situations that no longer served me. I also started what could be described as intuitional coaching- where my coach uses her intuition to identify issues that are holding me back from having a really fabulous present and future.

Like most people, I had some experiences during my formative years that I had  negative reactions to, and I still deal with some of the emotional fallout of those experiences today.  Two of the big ones are self doubt and a very strong feeling of unworthiness.

The call where these issues came to light was five days ago.  I had very intense dreams the first two days after the call that shed some light on both issues, and the rest of the week I've been trying to allow feelings of worth and deserved-ness (is that a word?).

This evening, I decided to take my dog for a walk. It was sprinkling a bit when we left the house, but I decided to keep going since the temperature was so nice.

As we walked, I was thinking about worth and deserving, and how several people in my life have been telling me lately 'you deserve ____'.  If several unrelated people from different areas of my life are telling me the same thing, then it must be true, right?

As I'm thinking these thoughts and I get to the end of the street where the parallel rows of houses stop, I look up and see an intensely colored FULL double rainbow.  I mean full as in it appeared to touch the ground at both ends. The bottom rainbow was as intense as when light shines through a prism hanging in a window, and the top was about half as bright as the bottom.

I stood there, with leash in hand, staring up in absolute awe. I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. For me, seeing the double rainbow felt like a blessing from the universe, a sign that those things I was thinking were absolutely correct, and it was natural for me to allow and receive things that make me feel worthy.

My next thought was 'of course I would leave my camera phone at home for this particular walk!'.  After thinking about it more, I decided that a picture would have somehow been inappropriate, though I can't explain why.

Claire and I walked up the short street that ran parallel to the rainbow, then turned and headed away from it.   I could now clearly see the sun, and see that clouds were starting to cover it.  I kept looking back over my shoulder to watch the rainbow change in shape and intensity.

The next thought that hit me was the timing of the whole event.  Had I left my house a few minutes earlier or later, I likely would have missed the double full rainbow.

By the time I got back to my house, the rainbow only reached across part or the sky, and was much less intense than just a few minutes earlier.

By the time I got home, I felt like it was ok to take a picture of the partial rainbow, so here it is!

I remember hearing and reading that when you step into the 'flow' of life, synchronicities start to happen. They are definitely starting to happen in a big way!

Monday, April 15, 2013

The Prayer of the Snow Shovel

As I shovel, I give thanks for the snow, for our lakes our empty.
As I shovel, I am filled with gratitude that my body is strong enough to scoop the copious fluff off the sidewalk and onto the buried lawn.
The scrape of metal against pavement and the fluid motion of the toss becomes hypnotic.
Because I know what it is to be a single home owner, my shovel and I visit each next-door neighbor in turn in the hopes it somehow makes their day easier.
I have become an implement of purpose, an appreciative observer, my hands moving of their own accord.
The snow and I, we have reached an understanding.  It falls from the heavens, and I ascend to a higher self.
As I shovel, I not only uncover the driveway, I uncover parts of myself.