Saturday, June 30, 2007

Little intimacies

I picked up T from the airport Thursday. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw him again. Since were supposed to be friends now, I had to supress the urge to do the things I normally would, like hold his hand, or kiss him. It struck me that I had taken these little intimacies for granted when we were together. I didn't realize how much a touch could mean when it had been absent for so long.

I talked to a friend of mine in Nac today, and wished we could go for tea like we used to.

Acknowledge the gift you have in your relationships while you have them. You never know when you may have to move out of state (or ....something)!

~blessed be~

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Notes from the Road: Destination Wahoo, NE

I left for Nebraska on my 24th birthday around 5:30 pm. Eastern Colorado is rolling, and smells alot like manure, whichs makes sense since there were cows everywhere. As the sun set on the waving fields of grasses, the most interesting colors were made. To the north, the fields shone like a combination of silver and gold, sometimes they looked white. A few hours later I was headed for big storm clouds, but in the rearview mirror I could still see light in the west. The setting sun shone like an ember in the clouds, and had it not been behind me, I would have stared at it intil it completly dissappeared behind the horizon. The next event was the lighting storm to the northeast. I figured that I'd drive into the storm, but I never did. The lightning was fabulous.
When I crossed the Nebraska border, I noticed the distinct smell of raw sewage. I'm not sure where exactly the odor was eminating from, as all I saw was fields and trees. Also upon crossing the border, I was informed by a sign that Nebraska was the founding place of the arbor foundation. I was only driving to North Platte that night, and it was dark so I was lookoing hard at the highway signs to find my exit. For quite awhile, it looked like there was a Dr. Suess character on all of the highway signs- orange body with a yellow fro- think treasure trollish. Either later that night or the next day, I realized that the picture on the signs was a guy on a horse with a giant yellow sun behind him. It struck me as funny when I figured out what it was.

The drive from North Platte to Wahoo was uneventful, and I don't remember much from it.

There was a great little sandwhich hut near the hotel- I ate there everyday for lunch.

I found out that Wahoo was the largest manufactuerer of bombs during WWII. Apparently there were several mile long buildings that housed the bomb making activities. Those buildings are all gone now, replaced by fields of crops.

The drive back was uneventful, but enjoyable. I listened to the XM radio comedy station quite a bit

Notes from another state will find their way here the next time I drive to a job!

~blessed be~

Friday, June 22, 2007

Big Changes!

First blog! This is something I thought about doing right as I was moving from Texas to Colorado to chronicle my new life, but that just didn't happen due to the craziness associated with moving, starting a new job, and ending a relationship.

I graduated May 12th, started driving my truck with a UHAUL in tow on May 14th, and arrived in Loveland, Co in the wee hours of May 15th. I was lucky to have my boyfriend at the time helped me move. I can't put into words how much he helped me during that time!

I have heard that the stress of moving is second only to a death in the family. I didn't think it was that bad! By the time I left I was so sick of school that I was happy to pack my junk and git. The last few months of school were so busy I didn't have a lot of time to think about what I was doing....I only did what needed to be done. I think that is what saved me from having several anxiety attacks- I didn't have time to second guess myself.

Now I'm here in lovely loveland. I assembled a shelf tonight that I had ordered about 5 weeks ago and as I was putting my knick-knacks on it, I started to realize that the duplex was becoming home- not just the duplex.

I recently came back from a job in Nebraska, and as I drove I thought to myself "I need to meet some people!" I also realized as I was driving that the day I returned from Nebraska was Midsummer, or Litha the Pagan summer festival. One of the things I put on hold while pursuing my masters was my spiritual side, and I vowed to get back when I could. So, combining these two thoughts, I jumped on the internet to google midsummer festivals around the area. I ended up finding a local Pagan group through, and decided I would be brave and go to their festival. I was pleasently surprised! Everyone was super nice and welcoming, and I was so glad to get a chance to talk to someone who wasn't my boss! Now I think my boss is great, but it's good to socialize with others.

I joined two other groups at meetup- one is a paranormal group, and the other is a singles adventure group. Let me address the single thing- T and I broke up the last time he left Colorado, which was about two weeks ago. Before he left the last time, he had been at my house for three consecutive weekends with a friend. While it was comforting to know he was in the state, it was hard to know that each weekend he was there was one of the last I would spend with him. It was also hard because I had just moved and didn't have much time on the weekends for myself. The day he left was really really hard. It still is some days I mostly try not to think about it. I have tried to rationalize the reasons why we wouldn't work, but the heart isn't rational. In my head I know why things had to be the way they are, but my heart still hurts. I have been in love before, but I can honestly say I have never loved anyone the way I loved him. I'm starting to get sappy and teary eyed....enough of this!

It's late, and I think I shall retire. I want to be rested for my first free weekend since I moved! I may ride my bike or hike. Later tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a bellly dance thing with someone I met at Litha...oh yeah- I started taking belly dancing lessons!

~blessed be~